The Collateral Damage.

It is wedding season, and out there in the field of love there are going to be a lot of fatalities. Well, a fatality is perhaps a strong word but you will see what I mean. In the coming months many of us will attend the lovely wedding ceremonies. You know how it goes down: a couple who have been dating since about the end of the university get married, all of their friends are there, and all goes gloomy. Or may be many of such ceremonies are arranged but still the love birds get enough time to understand each other. Marriages, as they say, are decided in heavens and performed on earth. It is an occasion where two souls become one. Many others even go to the extent of saying that the wife and husband complete each other. And many others give religious references that state that the wife is made from the ribs of the husband. Even the duo is referred to as “better-half” of each other. And at solemnizing the marriage they promise to live together for lives to come. Almost everyone tends to make the relationship an unbreakable bond as marriages are solemnized on oath and affirmation from both the sides and the two souls accept each other, blatantly.
But, this seems to be a past practice that has been rejected by most of the human race, nowadays. Instead of living together in peace for at least a single life has been proven to be a rare occasion. The better halves strive to cut each other into fine halves and even for breaking ribs of each other. The decisions of the heavens seem to have gone wrong. Both the families start to blame that day when the wed-lock happened. All such shift in emotions lead to a bigger tussle which consequently invites the inevitable events. But generally, a marital quarrel is a casual thing and happens everywhere but the trend seems to have changed and the casual is no more casual and the gaffe that could had been handled in a better way is left to develop and becomes a fight for pride and finally a law suit, thereby dragging the ‘pride’ to the courts. The arrogance from both the sides lead to a situation where the so called pride of both the families becomes high and dry and are looked down by everyone. Alike all other battles, in this ‘battle-for-pride’ the one who gets crushed is the weak, who in the latter case is their child[ren]. When parents repeatedly use hostile strategies with each other, most of the children of such families become distraught, worried, anxious and most worriedly hopeless. The couple chooses their fate by their own but the one who is coerced into the oblivion is the child. Desertion due to the break ups between the parents is a form of child abuse. But unfortunately the abusers are their own parents. The abuse is obviously not deliberate neither is it intentionally spiteful and not even conscious. But it is not a mere accident either. Thus children become the collateral damage of the attitude that is adopted by their parents. Children understand resentment and it tells them what is going on and they can work with that. But when parents withdraw and become emotionally unavailable, they do not know what is going on. They just know things are wrong and the withdrawal is a worse trail for them.
Such attitude of the parents lacerate the childhood of their wards, which goes unnoticed by their parents. The frequent fight between the parents sucks the oxygen out of the life of the child and even changes his psych and thus he becomes aggressive and develops behavior problems. Not only is his present affected but his future as well. A deep void gets created inside the body of such a child that no one can fill save for the love and affection of his own parents. The childhood that he was supposed to live under the care and love of his parents just passes by in despair and dilemma. He is forced to live a life of an orphan, even when he actually has both of his parents. Just guess the pain such a kid suffers, maybe we can’t. But we can do much more in order to end such un-noticed abuse and prevent many other children from becoming the collateral damage.

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